[Editor’s Note: Roz has been with Michael since the beginning, protected Michael as her little brother from the beginning and only recently (about 5 years ago) got free from a lifetime of bondage and abuse at the hands of her brother. Her story is long, and as such, we are releasing it in stages. Michael has launched an all-out attack on Roz, so please pray for strength for her as she continues to stand against the unrighteousness in Michael despite her love FOR Michael.]
Roz left Kalibu/Shekinah in October 2011. Here is what Michael Howard wrote about his sister in the October, 2011 Out of Africa Newsletter. How quickly he forgets how he sold this to everyone and made it seem like she was leaving because they had an amicable parting of ways, when in reality, Roz left because she had finally had enough of the unrighteousness of her brother:
“God’s Speed, Pastor Roz
After almost twenty five years as a director of Shekinah/Kalibu Ministries and practically running the USA and Canadian operation of the work of Shekinah Ministries, “Pastor Roz” as she is affectionately known, has decided to move on and begin her own ministry. She has been one of those true servants who has seen from whence the wine has come and has matured into a true and mighty woman of God. She simply wants to fulfill the call of the Lord in her life and be in the driving seat for her own destiny with the Lord. Her parting will be a great loss but I take this opportunity to bless her richly and reward her abundantly as the Lord speeds her on to new pastures.
“Lord, bless Pastor Roz and pour out upon her your abundance in this next phase of her walk and life with you. Reward her lavishly for the years of faithful service and grant her prosperity in everything that she touches for you. May she continue to know your fullest provision in every area of her life and the new ministry to which you have called her. Surround her with faithful warriors who will hold up her hands in the battle that we know is fierce and grows fiercer by the year. Grant her your peace and joy as well as your supernatural strength to sustain her in this fight. Pour out the oil of your anointing upon her and may that flow down and touch multitudes of hurting, homeless and helpless people for your glory. May everything she does be for your glory. Surround her, protect her and watch over her in your mighty name.”
To view the full newsletter, CLICK HERE
My Testimony – Part One
This is very difficult for me to write. I almost feel like it is a betrayal since I have protected my younger brother all my life. I have covered for him and even lied for him for which I have had to repent. Now enough is enough because there are too many damaged, hurting and rejected people lying by the side of the road. Not only that, he needs help because he is a gift to the Body of Christ and would be so exploded by the Holy Spirit if he would admit he has a problem, repent and seek help. My greatest desire for Michael is to see him set free to be what God has called him to be. I want to see him as that little child again, as the Word says, “Except ye become as little children….” He has a track record which says it all.
He has been kicked out of various nations in Africa and has never developed a covenant relationship with anyone. If someone does not agree with him or challenges him, he walks away and never looks back. And that includes me.
When I shared everything that is being exposed here with Pastor Dutch Vandervlucht before leaving the ministry, Pastor Dutch told me that if he went to Michael with all I had told him then Michael would walk away from their relationship and never look back. I asked him, “So how close a friend of Michael’s does this make you if you KNOW that Michael will walk away?”
I remember telling my mother each time I faced his abuse that I was very concerned because it killed a little more of my love for him. She told him everything so he obviously did not care because he continued to be abusive. I want to be totally honest and up front in my testimony. Do I still love my brother – questionable! (If he ever reads this he would not care if I loved him still because he does regard this as the ultimate betrayal and does not see it as a sister who wants him to be and do all that God has created for him).
Do I have compassion for him – Oh yes, very definitely! Last year I received reports of things that were happening in Finland and my immediate reaction was, “if this is true then what will my brother do?” I emailed him immediately (the first time in a couple of years) and spoke about what had been going on in my life since our break up five years ago and how God had delivered me and set me free and I received an extremely abusive letter in reply telling me not to preach to him and bringing up the past. Unfortunately I have deleted all of the emails between us except the last one which is on line, because of the hurt they cause. You see, I love to say that I am free but he still had the power to hurt even last year.
My brother, Michael, was the sweetest and gentlest child one could ever meet. He was very shy and used to hide behind my mother’s skirts whenever there was a stranger around. I adored him and because of the accepted parental discipline in those days, I set myself up as his protector because I felt he used to get the brunt of everything.
(Michael and I celebrating our birthdays 1959)
I am the eldest with a 14 month gap between Michael and myself and a 17 month gap between him and my younger brother. My parents were very strict but they definitely loved us and as we had no television growing up, the evenings were spent playing games as a family such as general knowledge, scrabble, monopoly and totopoly. In these days quality time with your parents is sitting down to watch a movie together but for us it was hours of interaction.
When in trouble Dad’s motto was, “If one gets it they all get it.” I well remember Julian (Michael’s younger brother) and I being mad with Michael because he would slip out to apologize while the two of us refused. He made us look bad because he was always the first to say sorry to my parents. That does not exist anymore. He publically stated from the pulpit in assembly at Kalibu Academy one morning that he never has to apologize because he is never wrong.
“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks..”
If we cannot apologize to one another then how do we ever repent to God or do we even feel a need to, if we are never wrong? Michael has never once truly apologized to me. On one occasion, he made a half-hearted attempt, and it was in an email he wrote after I left the ministry….. “I believe that I have hurt you. I am sorry but…………….” Apologizing is taking the responsibility for our actions and there should NEVER be a “but” in an apology. Man up and be accountable for your actions and don’t pass the blame.
(Michael at age 14 – prior to being born again)
We grew up in the Church of England. My parents did not attend church except at Christmas and Easter and most times we walked out half way through the sermon because the sermon was political. The kids, however, had to attend Sunday School and I found that a lot of what I learned there was helpful when I eventually became Born Again because I obviously remembered many of the scriptures – Truth shed its light upon what I had learned as a small child. My search for God began when I was about 15 and I would cycle to any church I could find to attend a service. I tried all the mainline denominations and in my final year at school some friends introduced me to their Baptist church. I was so excited to finally have found the Lord that I rushed home to tell my brothers expecting them to scoff at me but they did not and instead, accompanied me to church. They both were saved and we were all baptized 15 March 1970. That would have made Michael 15, and he was 15 when he went forward for salvation.
[Editor’s Note: Michael’s own testimony of his salvation differs greatly, “I received Jesus not because I went to church, not because I had any religious background, but one day I just sat down on my bed and I said, ‘God, if you’re real, I really want to know you.’ And, and, and, and, just in my bedroom, and as I said those words, this, this incredible bright light, now I, I, I, I’m not into everybody looking for phenomena and seeking for some you know manifestation, but this incredible bright light filled my room and I was actually terrified, I , I, I fell back on my bed in amazement, aghast at a great wave of this light came towards me; my mouth was open, this wave went into my mouth and down into my belly and I felt the warmth and the, the joy and the victory of it and as soon as it hit my belly, I knew Jesus. I just knew Jesus. I hadn’t mentioned His name, but I knew Jesus and the moment that I knew Jesus, I said, God I want to be a missionary, didn’t even know what a missionary was, I was about 11 or 12 years old, but I want to be a missionary. And, uh, so, it’s been a lot of training, a lot of uh dying. You’re never gonna be who God wants you to be unless you die, die, die, die.” There is an obvious discrepancy between two eyewitness accounts. Michael’s version is much more dramatic and makes him a super-Christian with an otherworldly call on his life from the beginning, while his sister’s testimony is more grounded and shows a sinner saved by grace, like the rest of us…]
Click the play button below to hear Michael give this testimony in his own words.
I left school mid 1970 because after an altercation with my parents one night, Michael was told they would not pay for him to go to college. The next day I found a job saying that I would help with his college. I have never regretted that decision and believe that it was the Lord or who knows where I would have ended up today. I have never looked upon it as being a sacrifice or held it against him – in those days, boys came first, especially where education was concerned and I loved Michael and desired the very best for him. I did not have to pay for his college because being an extremely clever young man he was able to get scholarships which paid his board and tuition but I did help from time to time with pocket money.
Michael attended Rhodes University in South Africa. I worked for the Department of Customs and was transferred to a border town where I had no time for the Lord. I was a 17 year old baby and allowed myself to be totally led astray. In Michael’s first couple of years at university he totally backslid and was involved in a homosexual relationship with at least one man that I know of. He was drinking and smoking and had grown harder – no longer the gentle boy I had once known. He returned home on one vacation telling my father,
“I wish you had explained to me about the birds and the bees before I left for university.”
(Michael on his 17th birthday)
Michael was without doubt my mother’s favorite and like me, she always protected him. She knew what had happened to him and shared with me her concerns.
My Aunt told me that some of her daughter’s friends who were at university with him, told her daughter that Michael Howard was homosexual and it was common knowledge in the college because they all hung out together. Rhodes was pretty liberal for their day and of course, Cecil John Rhodes himself was homosexual.
(Michael shortly after leaving University)
Michael recommitted his life to the Lord in his final year of college, attending the Assemblies of God and was filled with the Holy Spirit. After he left university he went on to serve with Internal Affairs during the war years in Rhodesia. After serving with them, he taught at St. Stevens College in Rhodesia and then Umtali Boys High where again he came under scrutiny because of his homosexual tendencies. There were many rumors floating around and unfortunately he was a house master in one of the boarding hostels.
He finally left teaching and was ordained with the Assemblies of God in Rhodesia. He took up a posting as pastor in Chipinge where he had an affair with his associate pastor, who was a man. I was living in Harare at the time with my children. Michael and one of his elders were leaving to minister in India and they were to spend the night with me. They were very late arriving and I was concerned. Back then no cell phones and many homes did not even have land lines. I had given up my bed for the elder and his wife and was sharing the spare bedroom with Michael. It had been a long day and I was just dropping off into sleep, when I heard Michael say from his bed:
“I have something to tell you. I have been having an affair.”
I was so stunned I sat straight up in bed. “Who with, is it Jackie?”
“No it has been with my associate pastor.”
This was such stunning news that you do not easily forget what was said. The associate was a young man with a wife and child. He went on to tell me that a friend who was an itinerant preacher had had a dream about him and had called him and told them all to come through for prayer and deliverance. They did and the associate was set free. Upon calling the preacher recently to make sure my facts were correct and I had not dreamed the whole thing (something Michael would accuse me of doing) she confirmed everything as I remember it and said she felt at the time the associate was free but that Michael was not. She went on to say that she did not have anything to do with Michael after that as she felt that he was an extremely dangerous man.
Way back then – must have been in 1981, I thought that perhaps Michael had been delivered and all would be fine. Things were not fine. What has followed has been a nightmare. Every time he has become involved with some young man and I have tried to challenge him, I have faced extreme verbal abuse and on one occasion in Chipinge, he hit me across the face with such force that I almost fell over. He has always protected those with whom he has been in relationship even when they have been liars, cheats, thieves, corrupt, and have stolen thousands from the ministry. When they have moved on, he has blackened their names and told people that he had to dismiss them or get rid of them. This is what he, along with Jim and Eileen Kirt, have told people about me. I resigned from Shekinah/Kalibu because I cold no longer take the corruption and hyprocrisy.
I know that many people are finding all of this very difficult, and even more refuse to accept any of what is being said on this web site. I do not have an ax to grind and have put this second part off in the hopes that Michael would finally admit he has problems and seek deliverance. Many have been asking me and even more have stated that Part 1 has been instrumental in beginning to set them free. That is my prayer – the truth will indeed, set us free from the bondage of the devil. That is my prayer for Michael – the truth will set him free too. It is my desire and has been for years and it is certainly God’s desire for him. In my mind’s eye I have perceived him as being encased in a block of ice, trying to get out. The longer and harder he tries the angrier and more abusive he becomes. I believe that he is angry with men because it was someone who placed him in this position to begin with. He is angry with women because he has always viewed the women in his family to be controlling instead of being protective and he is angry at God for not setting him free. It is so God’s desire to set him free if he would but acknowledge that he has a problem. He has preached some wonderful messages on this – one in particular on “honesty” and I have suggested to him at the time that the message was for him long before it was for anyone in the congregation. (You cannot tell him – you cannot tell him anything because he already knows or if it is to do with him you are being controlling or fault finding.)
He always made me feel incompetent and incapable of standing in a pulpit. In fairness, Michael always did tell me that I would be able to do it and then would get frustrated and angry with me if I didn’t. On the odd occasion when I did go up to share before he spoke I felt I was giving a performance and knew that if it was not exactly what he wanted he would be disappointed or angry. It was his opinion that mattered and not God’s opinion.
The men in my family are excellent story tellers. They believe that they are so good that they can take someone else’s story and tell it better and they probably can BUT IT IS NOT THEIR STORY TO TELL. Consequently, I would get half way through a story and Michael would jump in and finish it even if he had not been present and had only heard it from me. That shuts down the best of people. He was being interviewed on TV in Texas once and chastised me for not sitting on stage with him instead of sitting in the audience. I told him there was no way I was going to take the chance that I would be half way through a story only to be broadsided and cut off by him on live TV.
For those of you who are saying that we are all liars and/or are telling these things because we have been offended or hurt or rejected by Michael I would caution you to listen to the Holy Spirit as you read these accounts. There are too many of us to disregard and I am sure that each of you has experienced some of what we have and have ignored it – just as I have done for most of my life.
Many of us have or are experiencing “Stockholm Syndrome” at his hands. This is the definition:
“Stockholm syndrome can be seen as a form of traumatic bonding, which does not necessarily require a hostage scenario, but which describes ‘strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other.’ One commonly used hypothesis to explain the effect of Stockholm syndrome is based on Freudian theory. It suggests that the bonding is the individual’s response to trauma in becoming a victim. Identifying with the aggressor is one way that the ego defends itself. When a victim believes the same values as the aggressor, they cease to be perceived as a threat.”
My family would become very frustrated with me. I would come out of some abusive situation with Michael at which point I would always apologize or tell him what a wonderful job he had done, or that he had been right all along and I had been wrong and I would get an email or a card from him saying what a wonderful sister I was and how he could not manage without me. I got these every two years or so and I would preen and feel so happy while my family were pretending to put their fingers down their throats in order to show how sickening this was. We call it, “GAG MATERIAL!” I was like a puppy who was slapped and kicked but, when finally a kind word was said or there was a pat on the back or a little scratching behind the ears I would lick his fingers in pure thankfulness and idolatry. Beware that you have not set him up on a pedestal. When the pedestal falls the harder you will fall.
A word for some of you Finnish ladies – you have placed yourselves in exactly the same position and you need to get free. Many of you know me so please do not swallow what you have been told. Please pray and ask the Holy Spirit. You have come out from abusive situations, perhaps a marriage where your husband or your children were abusive toward you and you have placed yourself right back under it. You are doing nothing more than returning to the vomit. The spiritual side of it all sounds so good and you believe that you have grown so much in the Lord and that perhaps He is using you as never before. The devil appears as an angel of light and he knows the Word better than any of us and he can twist it to fit any one of our situations.
Michael has told me that he will step in between relationships to destroy them. With one young man, he told me that his father was a drunkard and his parents were not spiritual enough for him to visit and he was going to adopt him and keep him away from his family. I have met his family. They are delightful and he really loves them. I challenged Michael saying that, “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” Mal 4:6 He just got angry as usual and dismissed me as being “sub spiritual.” He was going to do the same thing with another young farmer in Malawi but the father laid a trap and caught him at it.
He told me before I left Shekinah in 2011 that he was going to persuade Harri to divorce his wife because she was a spendthrift and was holding him back spiritually. Within six months of him moving to Finland I was not surprised to hear that Harri was divorced.
He rules by divide and conquer and spiritualizes it all. Do not get swept away as so many have over the years.
Four over forty years I have longed for the day that my brother would stop denying that he had problems and get help. The focus is not primarily on the sexual issues but on the spiritual, verbal and emotional abuse that comes out of the sexual frustrations. Whether an act has been committed or not Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.”
He has often told me that he does not understand why God has not catapulted him into the forefront of Christian preachers. God cannot because of this very situation. Neither can God excuse lying from the pulpit no matter how funny the stories are.
I am sure many of you have heard his story about the young lady who came to him just before she married to get counseling and he counselled against the marriage saying that her fiancé was a pig and if she married him she would either have to change her pig or become one herself. I recently caught up with them on facebook. They have been happily married for more than 35 years and when I recounted Michael’s story she told me that Michael was the one that encouraged their relationship and their marriage and she does not recall that such a conversation ever took place. I am sure that you would recall such a conversation. We all have after hearing it just once from the pulpit. She very definitely has not become a pig!
He also tells how he was in a Mozambique bamboo cell for nine months. He was never in Mozambique for nine months. He left for his trip early in January and spent some time in Malawi before heading into Mozambique. The journey to the RENAMO headquarters took almost two months with all the stops along the way and the journey back to Zimbabwe was almost another month. He returned to my home in Zimbabwe in early July of the same year. If he was EVER in a bamboo cell it would have been for a maximum of three months only.
The statement that Mother Theresa was not saved because he was told by a personal friend who spoke with her is also not correct. I once asked who that personal friend was and he told me. First of all, they are not personal friends and second that same “personal” friend tells everyone that he did, in fact, interview Mother Theresa and she was definitely born again.
These are but a few of the stories he tells from the pulpit or in his books and including his testimony about his visitation from God when he got saved as recounted in Part 1. How many other stories are exaggerated or simply fictitious just to make a point, make you laugh or make him look important?
The first four or five books Michael wrote were handwritten in Michael’s own handwriting and I copied them onto the computer and edited them. I still have the hand written copies of the books on file in my office. I edited out stories from most of them for the printed editions but the originals still exist.
His book on “True Travail” was so derogatory about women – and his favorite adjective for women is “silly women” – I had to do a major edit job and remembered telling him that what he had said would be very offensive toward women which was ridiculous as it is primarily women who are the intercessors. After I had completed editing, I gave it to someone else to go through it and when she had finished she said that as a woman she was extremely offended by much of what he said.
I have stood with Michael through everything that has happened and when people have left I have always taken his word as to why they left and have been offended – yes I was offended – with them for the way they have treated him and with most of them I cut ties. Years later I have gone back to most and apologized for my behavior and have renewed many relationships. The Holy Spirit spoke to me and asked why I would always jump to his defense. I thought about it and replied that I had always been there to protect. He told me that as long as I was standing in the way I was blocking God from doing what He needed to do. I also remember asking God one day if I was my brother’s keeper and was told a very definite “YES!” I took that to mean that in times where I saw things that were not right that I should speak up despite the abuse I knew that I would receive. I did, and that is when our relationship began to change and he and Paisley began to hide things from me.
When I finally decided to leave Shekinah/Kalibu/Out of Africa I had been verbally attacked for over six months via email from Finland. It was give and take – I had my say as well. I finally asked a friend in the ministry to edit my emails to him as I found I was becoming equally verbally abusive. At that time, Michael was on a “sabbatical” in a Finnish forest writing his book on Complete Healing. He told me that I had just ruined his sabbatical and yet he still wanted me to teach at the Chicago Conference and was put out when I told him that I would not. He always maintains that whatever is in your heart will taint what you minister and he had accused me of being a Jezebel, manipulating and controlling, with a lying spirit and a man hating spirit and added that because of all this I was overweight. How can one minister when accused of all these things? Thankfully though I did not accept his curses.
What caused this attack before I finally left? We had had a young man from South Sudan working for us in Malawi. This young man (His initials are B.A.D.) had been our administrator in South Sudan despite the fact I did not like him and neither did I trust him. This was after a long line of similar people had been employed there and had lied, cheated and stolen from us and had told us they had become saved when all the while they were hanging on to their Moslem roots or their witchcraft, just as it appears Paisley has. They were in adultery and having affairs on the premises and all warnings given Michael were ignored.
The mechanic was having an affair with the administrative cook and one of the Malawian staff had made another of the Sudanese cooks pregnant.
An American administrator had been carrying on a relationship with a senior student and thought that it would be fine to marry him. I asked if the university she went to allowed faculty to get involved with students knowing full well that they did not and what would be different at the Bible School. I had to fly out two months before my daughter got married to take care of that mess.
The mechanic was selling our stuff to the army and pocketing the money and he was selling our diesel and doing the same thing.
Michael did not want to hear anything against this man. When Michael offended him one day, he disappeared and Michael chased all over the town looking for him. He was even searching after dark for him and canceled a trip he had planned to a game park for a few days relaxation. My brother was almost in a state of panic that this man was not going to come back. I had never seen him like that over anyone and I was hoping that in fact, he would never return.
“BAD” stayed on after Kalibu left South Sudan to take care of things at the compound, as we had left everything behind. One night someone broke in to steal and was caught by the watchman. Between the watchman and “BAD” they beat him to death. Our herd of cattle was turned over to the family of the man as payment and “BAD” was spirited out of South Sudan and brought into Malawi by Paisley. He was employed by Kalibu as the first Kalibu Academy administrator. He lived in a cottage and was given a motorcycle and his tuition at Polytech was paid for by the school. Sometime later he and Michael had a fight in the office at the school. It was a Saturday morning but there were parents and teachers who heard what was going on. He attacked Michael and punched him in the face. At the time I was in Malawi and was at the hospital with my mother. When Michael arrived at the hospital, he was in a state of shock and recounted what had happened. I immediately said BAD was to be fired and sent back to Uganda on the first available flight. We had a board meeting which “BAD” attended and we informed him that he had to leave. Michael did not attend but had insisted that he be paid out for time worked, vacation time and for whatever furnishings he had purchased. He walked out with a new laptop, an airline ticket and about $10,000. When cleaning out the cottage that he had been staying in on the Kalibu Academy grounds, Mark Cronin found he had not only been smoking cigarettes but also pot. It was also discovered that when school fees were paid him in cash he would pocket them and that he had been having an affair with one of the female teachers and one night got so drunk at a bar that he had to be brought back to the school by taxi. He stayed in Uganda and I was amazed to find out that Michael kept in contact with him and decided to pay his university fees since, and I quote: “We have already invested so much in him that we need to complete the task.”
One of the final divisions between me and Michael came over “BAD” as Michael wanted to bring him BACK to Malawi and employ him as the “principal/inspector” over the teachers. I am happy to accept when one has repented but am careful how I would employ or even IF I would employ him/her again. I kept asking Michael why he felt a need to employ this man after all that had taken place and he would not give me an answer. I just wanted to understand and the more I asked, the more abusive he became. Finally I asked what hold “BAD” had over him. I thought he was going to reach out from Finland and grab me round the throat. It came to a vote of the board and it was two to one that “BAD” was not to return. The board member who voted with me was told that he (Michael) did not care how the board voted, he was the boss and he would do what he liked. As far as I am aware and unless things have changed since I left, there has only ever been one single official board meeting of Kalibu, and Michael did not attend. There was NEVER a single board meeting of Shekinah as long as I was with them – over 20 years.
At the same time all this was happening there was an issue with a young man who was attending college in the States. I had challenged him via email about spending after I had cautioned him about international phone calls. I made the mistake of copying in Paisley and Michael and received an email from Michael in reply saying that Paisley had called him crying and that he, Michael, was not going to take sides in the issue BUT…… I needed to remember that one day this young man was going to take over the school and would have the power to throw me off the school property if I made an enemy of him.
Meanwhile, the situation with the young man was fine as we had taken care of everything and he understood and there was no problem with our relationship. Michael continued to try to cause division between that young man and myself and I finally decided that enough was enough. The young man ended up turning from the Lord and Michael tells everyone that its’ because I taught him to drink and womanize.
I arrived in Chicago a couple of days before the conference in order to make sure everything was in order at the hotel. I had visited a couple who had fallen out with Michael after a 20 year relationship because they had tried to bring some correction. I think if you have been close friends for twenty years, it allows you to speak into each other’s lives without one of you walking away. I had built a bridge of reconciliation and they were going to come to the conference. I walked into their home and was told to read the email that was lying on the kitchen table.
It was the report that had appeared in the Malawi newspaper (the original one from September 2010 – CLICK HERE for post about this) and this was the first time I had seen it or even heard about it. As I read it, I began to feel sick. The young man who was at college had told me that Michael and Paisley had been summoned to Lilongwe shortly after the article had appeared in the paper and that Michael had been given 72 hours to leave Malawi. He did not tell me that it was because of the article but because of a letter Michael had put out to the parents of the children at the school. Somehow they managed to talk their way out of it, but it was over a year before Michael ever did return to Malawi.
At breakfast a couple of mornings before the conference began, Michael asked to speak with me. He and Paisley asked what my plans were and when I confirmed that I was leaving, Michael asked what I wanted. He told me I could have Shekinah Ministries, which I did not want as people connected that with him. I had already been working on the elderly project in Malawi so I told him that this was what I wanted. He said I could not have it as there were Finnish ladies already working on it. I knew the Finnish ladies and could not understand why they could not work with me only to find out that the Finnish government had already decided to give almost half a million dollars to build a clinic and he was not going to let me have that money. Besides that, Finland was the new cash cow and he did not want me to have anything to do with that. So, I took over the Nsanje elderly project, which Kalibu abandoned and he began ANOTHER elderly project nearer Blantyre, which is now known as the “Widow’s Mite” project. A project I might add is run by a Catholic gentleman and so it is very difficult for Kalibu to preach there. So much for Michael’s mantra, “The Gospel comes first and feeding, clothing and humanitarian projects come last.”
After breakfast that morning, he sent Paisley to my room to try to talk me out of leaving. Paisley told me, “For the sake of the ministry please stay. Let us sweep this under the rug and forget about it.”
I told him that the rug was a mountain and we could no longer walk across it, but only climb over it, and that God was not interested in the ministry but only interested in the hearts and motives of His people.
Later that day I went to Michael’s room to find out if he needed anything from the store. I put my arms around him and told him I was sorry it had come to this and that despite all I still loved him. That afternoon I was working on putting up an arrangement in the hall and Dutch VanderVlucht was setting up the sound system. He casually mentioned that he understood he no longer had to act as an intermediary between Michael and myself. When I asked what he was talking about he said that Michael had called him almost immediately after I had left his room that morning and told him, “Roz is not leaving, I did not know it was going to be this easy!” If I had had any second thoughts about leaving, that was the decision maker. How arrogant!
In the years following my departure in 2011, I discussed these issues with very few people. Two couples, very close friends, asked because they were praying and I told them I could no longer put up with the abusive issues. The sexual issues never came up until about two years ago when the wives of some of these pastors came right out and asked if Michael was gay. Michael had placed them both in difficult positions when he and some young man had stayed with them and Michael insisted that he and the young man could share a bed when another bedroom was empty and sharing was not necessary.
On Michael’s first trip back to the States, I received an email from him telling me that far too many people knew our personal business and while he had kept quiet about everything, I had been talking. His following statement was: “God knows and we will soon find out whose side HE is on.” I was not aware that God took sides except the side of righteousness.
Since then, we have had little contact. He was not there when my Father passed away despite the fact that he flew back to Malawi instead of Zimbabwe twelve hours before Dad died. I gather he made a statement at the opening of the clinic saying that his father had died some two days before but he had chosen to be at the opening of the clinic. Dad had passed away at least TWO WEEKS before that. What was his purpose in lying about that?
There are so many other stories and happenings, but this is enough. My purpose is not to bring Michael or the ministry down. My purpose is so that others might be set free and that Michael too would be set free. I do not want all that we have worked for to burn as wood, hay and stubble. What has it all been for, if not for the Lord? I believed that the school would change a nation. I believed that the graduated students in South Sudan could change that nation. I believe that prayer and intercession can make a difference. If it did for Daniel and the captives, then it still works today.
I was horrified at the only intercession meeting I attended at Kalibu in April last year. Just because a Finnish man who gets very emotional about Jesus began to boohoo during his prayer, Paisley announced that everyone should break into travail and that all early morning meetings the following week should be nothing but travail. Sorry, but I cannot bring on “travail” at the order of some man. This only shows the ignorance of Paisley: he has no clue was travail is, despite the fact that Michael wrote a book entitled, “True Travail.” Of course, this man, Paisley, is involved in multiple adulterous relationships and regularly beats his wife and children. At that meeting, out of fear and on demand, all the others began to weep or pretend to weep and then started banging on the table and the doors. What does this have to do with the Lord? What does this have to do with travail? Where does it stop? with beating ourselves?
These same blind followers that were weeping and banging love to tell everyone to challenge people who shake under the anointing of the Holy Spirit, claiming that it is the “Kundalini” spirit. The “Kundalini” spirit is a Hindu spirit that can supposedly be released through Yoga and many have claimed is a false Holy Spirit. If they attribute the shaking of people under the power of the Holy Spirit when the gospel goes forth to having a “Kundalini” spirit, then what possible Biblical reference do they find for beating on tables and doors? That sort of beating is directly linked to witchcraft, which makes perfect sense because Paisley is a known practicioner!
I have always said that prayer and intercession is the oil that keeps the wheels of any ministry operating and I still believe it. It is God’s battle and not ours. It never was Daniel’s battle, which is why the archangel Michael came to do battle on his behalf. It is time for us to get down on our knees on behalf of all that is unrighteous and ask God to give a breakthrough. Think of all those young American and Finnish men and women who are stuck in Malawi because they have given their all to be on the mission field and that are now being deceived and seduced. You can make up your mind not to believe anything I have said but you should listen to what the Holy Spirit says. A little bit of poison, poisons the whole pot. Even if what Kalibu/Shekinah/Out of Africa preaches is just a little bit of poison, it would be enough, but it is a lot more than that. As men and women of God, our lives have to line up with scripture otherwise we cause others to stumble.
I submit that the lives of Michael Howard, Paisley Mavutula and all those that are blindly following them do NOT line up with scripture. Only God can heal and restore, but He is powerless to do anything absent repentance.
My prayer is for just that: repentance.